I'm certain the world is coming to an end this week

The end times are upon us.  There's no question.

Sign #1:

A 10-year-old student "threatened other students" with a slice of pizza that had bites out of it in a way that made it look like a gun.

RESULT: Six days eating alone at the 'silent table' and WAIT FOR IT... he has to meet with a school resource officer to learn about gun safety.  I hope they cover both cover both sausage pizza guns as well as pepperoni pizza guns.  Better safe than sorry, I always say.

Sign #2:

A 9-year-old student was suspended for sexual harassment for calling a teacher "cute" last month.

RESULT: Suspended for two days.  Let's double check...yep, he's 9.


Sign #3: 

7th grade student Je'Terra Bowie was suspended for allegedly touching her teacher with a pencil by accident as she reached back to stretch.

"I didn't know she stopped behind me," Bowie told WDIV. "She stopped, and I stretched back. I turned back and said, 'Sorry. I didn't mean to.'"

RESULT: In case you missed it: SUSPENDED.

All of these are in one article here.